What If Men Had Periods

I have to admit, I recently fell down a rabbit hole reading Gloria Steinem's article “If Men Could Menstruate”, published years ago in the Women’s Studies in Communication journal. And oh boy (pun intended), it was both hilarious and eye-opening. In this satirical piece, Steinem imagines a world where men are the ones who get monthly periods instead of women. The result? Menstruation would suddenly become the coolest, manliest thing ever. As Steinem wryly notes, “menstruation would become an enviable, boastworthy, masculine event.” Men would brag about their cycles openly - picture guys at the office one-upping each other with lines like, “I'm a three-pad man, bro, how about you?” High fives all around for having a heavy flow. Ridiculous, right?

Steinem doesn’t stop there. In her imaginary scenario, boys would celebrate their first period with stag parties and religious rituals (because nothing says “manhood” like a party for your first tampon). The government would pour funds into a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help men with cramps, and sanitary products would be handed out free on every street corner. (Of course, there’d still be luxury brands of pads and tampons for the macho elite – she jokes about names like “John Wayne Tampons” and “Muhammad Ali’s Rope-a-Dope Pads.” 😂) Meanwhile, women in this alternate universe would be the ones considered “unclean” or inferior for NOT bleeding each month. In short, Steinem uses humour to highlight a sharp truth: if the tables were turned, menstruation would be a source of pride and power rather than shame. Or as she cheekily concludes, “If men could menstruate, the power justifications could probably go on forever... if we let them.” Mic drop. 🎤

Steinem’s article had me laughing, but it also got me thinking. Her satire shines a light on just how absurd it is that something as natural as a period can be twisted by society’s gender lens. Which brings me to the present...

Still Taboo: Periods in the Workplace and in Healthcare (Yes, Even Today)

It’s 2025, and you’d think we’d be over this by now, but menstruation is still a taboo topic in so many parts of daily life. Sure, we see tampon commercials (usually with blue liquid, because apparently red might scandalise the nation 🙄), but when it comes to real talk, periods are often treated like a secret. This is especially true in the workplace and even in the medical office, where you’d hope we could be open about basic biology, but nope.

Have you ever done the “tampon shuffle” at work? You know, slipping a pad or tampon up your sleeve on the way to the bathroom so no one notices. Many of us have mastered this stealth move. Heaven forbid a coworker (especially male) spots a tampon in our hand – gasp! – embarrassing. The fact that we feel the need to hide something as normal as a period product shows how conditioned we are to keep menstruation under wraps. If men had periods, they’d probably have their tampons on their desk like a coffee mug (Steinem’s vision makes that clear!). But for us, it’s hush-hush. Many women feel they can’t mention why they’re feeling a bit shit or needing a sick day, because if you say “I have terrible cramps,” you might get weird looks or awkward silence. In a lot of workplaces, the culture suggests you should just push through and not mention “female stuff.” Meanwhile, you’re at your desk trying to appear chipper and normal while an angry gremlin is twisting your uterus. Fun times, right?

And don’t get me started on the medical system. Even with all the advancements, women’s menstrual health isn’t always taken as seriously as it should be. How many of us have gone to a doctor for debilitating period pain or insanely heavy flow, only to be told “It’s normal, just part of being a woman” or “Have you tried ibuprofen?” 😑. Far too often, if a health issue involves menstruation, it can be downplayed. Conditions like endometriosis or PMDD often take years to diagnose because for a long time women were told to suck it up. It’s the flip side of Steinem’s satire: if men had those conditions, you can bet we’d have a zillion treatments by now and prime-time public service announcements about them. But since it’s women who do, the medical world has been slower to respond, and open conversation is lacking. The result? Many of us feel unsupported and alone when dealing with menstrual issues. We hesitate to speak up about our periods at the doctor’s office or at work, worried we’ll be seen as weak, gross, or just complaining.

It’s crazy that after all these years and feminist progress, a natural bodily function is still shrouded in shame and secrecy. Steinem’s tongue-in-cheek essay might be decades old, but its point still hits home: society often treats male experiences as the default and female experiences as, well, “other” or lesser. Menstruation gets kept in the shadows, but you know what? We deserve better!

So, how do we deal with this taboo and lack of support? We might not transform society overnight (if only we had a magic wand or maybe a magic uterus? 🧙‍♀️), but we can take matters into our own hands in the meantime. It’s time to flip the script on how we handle our periods, support ourselves, and demand the support we need. Let’s talk solutions.

How to Support Yourself Through Your Cycle

Alright, ladies, let’s get practical and empowering. We can’t instantly make everyone at work or every doctor more understanding about periods, but we can change how we navigate our cycles and advocate for ourselves. Think of it as building your own toolkit for that time of the month (and the weeks in between). Here are some clear, actionable steps to help you embrace your menstrual cycle and take care of you:

• Arm Yourself with Knowledge: One of the best things you can do is get to know what actually happens during your menstrual cycle. Think of it as a little hormones 101. 📚 Learn about the different phases, menstruation, the follicular phase, ovulation, and the luteal phase, and how your hormones (oestrogen, progesterone, etc.) rise and fall. Why bother? Because knowledge is power! When you understand the rollercoaster your body rides each month, those mood swings or energy crashes make more sense. Instead of feeling like “What the heck is wrong with me?”, you’ll realise, “Oh, right, my oestrogen took a nosedive, no wonder I feel like a cranky potato today.” Knowing your biology helps you work with it, not against it.

• Track Your Cycle and Live in Sync: Ever totally spaced that your period was coming and got caught off guard at work? It happens to the best of us. Tracking your cycle can be a game-changer. Use a cycle tracking app on your phone or even a good old-fashioned calendar with smiley and frowny face stickers,  whatever floats your boat. 📅 The goal is to have a sense of where you are in your cycle so you can plan around it as much as possible. Big presentation at work? Maybe aim for when you’re in that high-energy ovulation zone if you can. Feeling super introverted and fatigued during PMS week? That might not be the ideal time for a ton of social events. Of course, life doesn’t always let us schedule everything perfectly, but even just knowing “I’m in my luteal phase, so it’s normal to feel slower” can help you give yourself grace. Tracking also means you’ll be better prepared for life, not just your period, you’ll have a heads-up on when your energy might dip, when to schedule the big stuff, and when to take a step back. No more being blindsided by a sudden mood crash or wondering why everything feels harder.

• Advocate for Yourself: This one is HUGE. Speak up for what you need, with your doctor, and yes, even at work. If you have serious pain or suspect something’s not right with your cycle, don’t brush it off and suffer in silence. Tell your healthcare provider clearly what’s going on. And if you feel dismissed with a “it’s normal,” don’t be afraid to push back or seek a second opinion. You deserve to have your concerns taken seriously. On the work front, advocating for yourself might mean having an honest chat with your manager or HR about some flexibility around your period. For example, if you have one day that’s really rough (helloooo Day 1 cramps from Hades), maybe you can arrange to work from home that day, or shift a deadline, or at least let your team know you’re not at 100%. It can be scary to bring up (we’ve been conditioned to think periods = unprofessional talk), but sometimes simply saying, “Hey, I’m dealing with a menstrual migraine today, can we push this meeting to tomorrow?” can lead to a surprisingly understanding response. And if it doesn’t…well, that tells you something about that workplace. Bottom line: you are your own best advocate. Whether it’s with a doctor or a boss, don’t be afraid to say “This is what I’m experiencing, and here’s how you can support me.” They can’t read your mind, after all.

• Set Boundaries and Say No: Newsflash: you’re allowed to say no and set boundaries, especially when you’re not feeling your best. We women are often taught to be people-pleasers and take on everything, but that’s not sustainable (or fair to ourselves). Some days during your cycle, you might be up for taking on the world; other days, putting on jeans feels like a victory. Honour that. 🧘‍♀️ If you’re in a low-energy or painful part of your cycle, it’s 100% okay to decline that extra project, skip a social gathering, or tell your partner, “Sorry, not tonight, I need some me-time with a heating pad and Netflix.” Setting boundaries can also mean delegating tasks or asking for help. Maybe you ask your Mum to look after your kids or ask your partner to handle dinner. Remember, “no” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to justify taking care of yourself. The more you practice setting these boundaries, the more you’ll find that most people will respect them, and if they don’t, that’s on them, not you. Your wellbeing comes first, period.

By taking these steps, we basically start doing for ourselves what Steinem humorously imagined the world would do for men if they had periods. We might not have free government-issued pads (a girl can dream!), but we can remove some of the stress and stigma around our own experience of menstruation. It’s about being kind to ourselves and unapologetic about a natural process our body goes through.

Embracing the Flow

Talking about periods openly, with a mix of humour and honesty, feels strangely liberating, doesn’t it? Gloria Steinem’s satirical question “What if men could menstruate?” highlights how silly it is that we’ve been made to feel so weird about something so normal. No, men can’t menstruate (sorry guys, you’ll never know the joy), but that doesn’t mean menstruation should be treated as unspeakable. It’s part of life for half the population!

It’s high time we shed the taboo and demand the support and respect we deserve, from our workplaces, from our healthcare providers, and most importantly, from ourselves. So share a laugh over Steinem’s witty article, but also take its message to heart. Let’s continue to have these frank, funny, and empowering conversations among women (and with the men in our lives, too, they should get in on the conversation, even if they’ll never get in on the cramps!). The more we normalise talking about periods, the less awkward and more supportive our world will become.

At the end of the day, whether or not society ever throws us a “First Period Party” 🎉, we can celebrate ourselves by honouring our cycles and not letting anyone make us feel inferior for them. As Steinem might say, the power dynamics only continue “if we let them.” Well, we’re not letting them anymore. Period… and that’s something to brag about. 😉